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I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps.
How did I get here? At what point did I determine I knew better than God how to run my life?
They say that stress is a silent killer. But it is also a loud bullhorn that should be heeded. We think we’re just being responsible. Perhaps multi-tasking better than anyone else. Or, we’re simply over achievers who are determined to do everything on our weekly list in a single day.
I recently had to admit how much stress I had taken on when I began to lose both my sleep and my hair. Determined it was simply a lack of certain supplements, I upgraded my daily regimen – with little to no affect. Though I considered the possibility that I was operating beyond my limits, I figured I just needed more mineral fuel to get things done.
To my shame, this actually went on for weeks. Adjusting my routines and trading one treatment plan for another, I hoped for better results. But it never really dealt with the core issues. I was simply putting off the inevitable self-examination by trying to distract myself and stay busy. And the stress continued to build, more sleep was lost, and peace of mind became a distant memory.
Thankfully, I have a Mediator who was watching and decided it was time to intervene. In His infinite wisdom, He knew I was only spinning my wheels and going nowhere, except downhill. One night, He gave me a warning dream showing me the dangerous trajectory I was on. I woke up in the fear of the Lord. That did it.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
The first thing I thought of when waking up from the dream was the sin of Saul. The king who had been anointed and appointed by God, but who eventually determined he could do God’s will his own way (1 Samuel 15). Perhaps he was so used to God’s favor that he believed he was exempt from total obedience. Perhaps he thought God would give him props for being so creative in adjusting the instructions to make the people happy. Wasn’t he just being a responsible leader in improving on God’s plan? In the end, his presumption cost him his legacy. In God’s eyes, it wasn’t a matter of Saul’s ingenuity, but his submission.
Here’s the thing. If we would actually pay attention, there are usually warning signs that alert us to the dangers of trying to control our own narrative. For me, it was my body beginning to shut down. But instead of taking note, I determined it was merely the cost of the call. You know, like the apostle Paul who “buffets his body” for the sake of Christ (1 Cor 9:27)!?
Wow. Did I ever get that wrong.
Stress often manifests as anxiety, worry, and even depression. It saps us of energy and erodes our clarity of mind and spirit. But at the core, stress is the result of our inability to stop and let things go. Lay things down. Hand over control. Secretly afraid that we’ll let God down, let others down, or appear irresponsible, we keep pressing on, determined to prove to ourselves and everyone else that we’re capable. Responsible. Even creative. Not wanting to admit defeat, we convince ourselves that we are simply doing God’s work (and feeling every bit the martyr).
The day after my wake up call, I finally saw the light. And it wasn’t any huge issue in my life or gross sin to deal with. It was actually an accumulation of little things. Daily decisions made on my own; little choices along the way that were void of the Spirit’s direction. Presuming to know what God wanted, I had put myself on automatic pilot. No need to always check my bearings – I’ll get where I need to go. Now I realized I was out of fuel, running on fumes, and about to crash. As soon as reality hit me, I was ready to land. Even if it meant the possibility of being grounded.
As I began to process all of this with the Lord, I was struck by how far I had removed His presence from my decision making process. Though I had been consistent in my morning time with Him, slowly but surely I had relegated Him to the corner of my heart instead of the center. Sure He was still there, but more an observer than a Director. I was truly grieved by how easily I had “taken the wheel!”
The transaction was actually quite simple. In that moment of revelation there was an immediate heart change. I saw how unqualified I was to run my life. I gladly laid it all down and gave back the reins. Regardless of how things looked from that point on, I didn’t care. It was no longer about proving I could accomplish something great, but simply following the One who is. In that simple turn of heart and conscious decision of surrender, an instantaneous peace permeated my whole being. I could finally breathe. Let go. Relax. And even smile.
The truth is, surrender actually empowers us. In letting go of our need to control things, faith is activated and Grace takes over. There is peace in giving up any claim to call the shots. There is absolution in submission, and a mysterious rest that comes when we stop trying so hard.
Don’t wait until you’re running on fumes. Don’t keep losing sleep, your hair, or your peace of mind. Whatever your call is, it will only succeed if you let Him direct your steps – on His terms. He may take longer than you like and may even take detours everyone once in a while. Truth is, His goal isn’t necessarily getting you somewhere. His goal is simply walking with you every step of the way.
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26 Responses
Excellent Wanda. I have came to the same conclusion after burning myself out many times. There is certainly rest in surrender 🙏 and much more peace.
Yes, Wanda, we all need this Word today! Let’s sing, “I SURRENDER ALL!” The Lord wants us to rest in Him and that is literal as well and to have great JOY, to laugh (it is the best medicine) and quit striving, because Holy Spirit is the One to move; we are to pray and ask and then leave it to Yeshua. Have a great First Friday of the month!
That was so good! I have been tired lately! Thank you for sharing this possibility!
Dear Wanda:
The wisdom God is giving you, is showing through your most recent posts!
My dear sister, that is what you are gifted in.
Encouraging, truthful, wisdom-filled posts.
Denise E.
Thank you, Denise:-). To GOD be the glory!
Yes. God bless you, Wanda.
Thanks for being so transparent and honest with yourself, God, and us. Your words draw me to humbly admit I too often have Jesus as a participant in my life, not the director.
Thank you, good word for all. Blessings.
Thank you Wanda. This is what I’ve been going through. So much stress that it has taken a toll onmy body. I needed to get back to singing and dancing before the Lord only. That’s the only time I am truly happy.
I have so much on my plate
Thank you… much needed words. I have been struggling with loosing “independence and control,” perceived or real. coming with old age. Now seeing it as selfish ego. Opps!!! well, you shed light on my struggle. So here goes. “Let go and let God.” Breathe ! Amen Praise GOD and Thank you. BLESSINGS…
Wanda,
Your words deeply strike me. I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing your struggles, as it instructs us to our own vulnerabilities. The foundation of everything you said is the letter to the church at Ephesus. It is the centrality of our love in and for Jesus Christ. We are all vulnerable to losing our focus, with everything’s priority resting in the love of Christ. We eat from the Tree of Life that is in the Paradise of God. That is His Presence, and as we sit under the Tree of Life, and rest in His Presence, we find our home place. He is our strength.
Amen, Richard!
Wow, what a messsge, Wanda! Just what I needed to hear! I so appreciate your transparency and honesty and I agree with Denise … “ the wisdom God is giving you in your more recent posts” is impacting lives and I am so so grateful! I have notebooks full of all your writings and refer to them often. You have truly been an inspiration to me since @ 2014. I have learned so much from your writings and I love sharing them with others!
Blessings and prayers,
Thank you, Phyllis! Pray for me as I write my next book in the next few months:-).
This really resonated with me today. I too have been feeling burned out. The Lord told me to stop trying to perform for him, and that he loves me and wants me to be carefree. You are a blessing. Thanks for your vulnerability.
Wanda, this is a lovely post. You always sound so perfect, (not that you are saying your are, at all.) So wise, so together, so knowledgeable, and now, so human. Bless, bless, bless you. I couldn’t, in a million years, do what you do. It consoles me that there is someone who can, and does; that is you Wanda. I bet the Lord is giving you such an enormous hug right now.
I get to write a few lines for our church newsletter. One of the readings this week is Ecclesiastes 1: 2. 2: 21-23
What does a man gain for all his toil?
Vanity. Vanity of vanities, the Preacher says. Vanity of vanities. All is vanity!
For so it is that a man who has laboured wisely, skilfully and successfully must leave what is his own to someone who has not toiled for it at all. This, too, is vanity and great injustice; for what does he gain for all the toil and strain that he has undergone under the sun?
What of all his laborious days, his cares of office, his restless nights? This, too, is vanity.
Well, I don’t really see it as vanity. I mean, this man laboured wisely, skilfully and successfully. But, there is another message there.
This is what I wrote;
Ever had the feeling you are not in control? This has been a week when plans fell apart, changed, re-changed and then new, surprising ones, successfully glided into place. We are often not in control, as in Ecclesiastes, but we are known to the One who is. More importantly, He is devoted to us. Hold the reins of life lightly and trust His ways when He sets them in motion.
Basically, let Him carry the weight. Stand back and be loved when you need it. Don’t be so dutiful that you are not carried. We appreciate you Wanda. We really do.
Thank you so much, Irene:-)!
Thanks for your transparency. I believe that a willingness to be transparent is one of the many dividing lines for leaders in these days. Well written.
Wonderful testimony, Wanda. Much of my walk has been in the prophetic. I was in this before I knew what it was. In 1982, I was confirmed a prophet, a title I have downplayed and would rather be termed as a son of God. It has been quite a journey that has caused my hair to turn grey. The burden of what I have seen at times caused me great physical and emotional stress. Twenty years ago, I fell into a depression. There was abuse that took place. I ride motorcycles, and what I know of the biker gangs, there was more loyalty than what I found in the church, especially among the leaders. No one went after another biker’s woman. I found this not to be true in some churches. After a situation of disloyalty from a friend and pastor, I ended up in a psych ward for weeks. I was told I would never be able to work again. I did come out of it, and all is good. I had to dump a whole lot of stuff. People I ministered to and learn a new way to walk in grace. Wanda, there is the church that was and the one that is to come. Do you think perhaps God wants you to let go of the church that was and reach for the church He is building, much in the invisible realms, but soon to bring it into our natural walk. You are a prophet. Hebrews 6 talks of a gate past the elementary teaching. This is the gate of future power coming to the church. Perhaps this is your time for this.
O my goodness, Dan. You’re speaking my language:-). “…reach for the church He is building, much in the invisible realms, but soon to bring it into our natural walk!”
❤️
Thank You For your transparency.
Every confession you made,I made also as best I could.
August 10, 2025, at 3:45 EST, GOD has kept me Keith Marcellus Jones, SAVED for 52 years.Glory to God.He is Faithful!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for reminding us of the importance of having quiet times with the Lord and checking that we are really submitted and doing His will under His guidance with His power. There seems to be a difference between people who work hard for God so that they can shine and get praised, and people who let God work hard through them so that He can shine and be praised! Jesus said, “My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I too am working.” Some Christians are incredibly active, but don’t seem stressed, so I guess they are the ones who are following Jesus, rather than trying to be good leaders on their own strength.
What a timely word for the worn and weary servants. I too, appreciate the reality of your words Miss Wanda. The church is one foundation in Jesus Christ our Lord but the heaviness of our own humanity weighs down on the footings of our salvation. I enjoyed reading the comments as much as the inspired writing. May we who are weak be strong in the mighty power of the Lord our strong foundation.
I so needed to hear this today. I have been doing the same and finding anxiety, depression, insomnia leading the way. I tried the same: supplements, diet changes, ect… with little to no relief. The Lord wasn’t/didn’t speak to me directly as He did you in a dream and I have felt like I was spinning my wheels and just continuing to go down a hole. Once I started reaching out for prayer and being vulnerable, He began to open my eyes. I thought it was just me, but beginning to realize many are in the same place, but they are not aware. O Lord, wake us up. He told me once when I was spiraling down, “There’s a hole in front of you. You can go down it. Or you can go around it. O Lord give us the “push” to make the necessary changes, laying down our own agendas and take up Yours.