WOMEN IN MINISTRY? Three Things I Had to Settle

After decades of debate, it’s hard to believe this is still such a controversial subject for the Church. For Bobby and me, this issue was settled years ago. Because it directly impacted both our marriage and our ministry, we spent several years trying to figure it out. Looking back, I realize there were three major things I had to settle in my own heart before I could walk in peace regarding my role as a woman in ministry: a healthy identity in Christ, agreement in my marriage and with spiritual oversight, and overcoming the spiritual warfare that often targets women.

HAVING A HEALTHY IDENTITY IN CHRIST
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. (Galatians 3:28-29 ESV)

Years before I was married, I was asked to become the first woman in our church conference to be ordained. At the time, I already knew God had called and gifted me, and I was actually flattered. But something didn’t sit right with me. I felt like I was being offered the opportunity more as a statement of the conference’s forward thinking, than as a true recognition of my call. And I didn’t want to become a trophy of progress, so I declined.

Even then, I knew I wasn’t in ministry to make some kind of statement about female leadership. I didn’t have anything to prove as a woman. I was simply a leader who happened to be a woman. I just wanted to faithfully steward whatever God had entrusted to me.

I also knew back then I was not ready to face the battle of public scrutiny. In the years that followed, the Lord was sure to expose every insecurity, every hidden need for validation, every fear of man, and every other emotional roadblock in my life that would hinder the call on my life. It was only after He stripped me of my self-defense, my unmet emotional needs, and some unresolved resentment towards men in authority, that He gave me any semblance of a public platform. I had to settle who I really was – and wasn’t – before He could trust me with anything significant. I’ll never regret those years of testing, as painful as they were.

AGREEMENT IN OUR MARRIAGE
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

Bobby and I spent several years studying, reading, praying, and seeking counsel on this issue. We eventually determined that the whole of Scripture doesn’t differentiate between genders when it comes to being a witness for Christ, spreading the gospel of the Kingdom, or equipping the saints. We found much clarity when we realized it was more about the state of our hearts and our agreement as husband and wife, than just figuring out our doctrinal beliefs (or winning an argument:-).

We both had to deal with our conservative denominational roots in terms of what we believed Scripture actually stated. And though the Body of Christ as a whole will likely never agree on those final interpretations, Bobby and I settled it for ourselves. In both our marriage, and then our ministry, we came to a place of peace regarding our varying gifts and how the spiritual authority the Lord gave to each of us worked within our congregation. Ultimately, it’s that oneness of spirit that will bring Kingdom results and lasting fruit. (The best book we’ve ever read on this issue is SIDE BY SIDE written by a dear friend of ours, Pastor Dave Hess, Christ Community Church in Mechanicsburg, PA. Well worth the read.)

OVERCOMING THE SPIRITUAL WARFARE
I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel. (Genesis 3:15)

There’s no question the enemy hates women – he has since Day One. Personally, one of my greatest spiritual battles has been with religious opposition. The Religious Spirit has been a frequent adversary throughout my life and ministry. But I’ve found the greatest victory when I don’t make it about defending my rights as a woman, but standing in the righteousness of Christ. He’s the one who called me and gave me the gifts. So when the devil gets in my face about it, I tell him to take it UP. I simply want to be a faithful leader with a servant’s heart and clear conscience. And I’ve seen the Lord back me up, time and time again.

Ultimately, Bobby and I believe that asking if women can be pastors is the wrong question. Our primary question should be what qualifies either a male OR female to be an effective leader in the Body of Christ. When Christ gave leadership gifts to the Church in Ephesians 4, the emphasis wasn’t on gender. The emphasis was on equipping the saints, building up the Body, and producing spiritual maturity. Scripture consistently points us toward fruit, character, faithfulness, humility, and spiritual maturity.

At a time when so many leaders are being disqualified because of compromised character and corrupted motives, perhaps it’s time to focus less on gender and more on the condition of the heart. In the end, God isn’t just looking for male leaders or female leaders. He’s looking for faithful ones.